The movie starts, your cuddled up inside a warm blanket. The music eases in to a low hum and it resonates inside your ears, bringing you an instantaneous comfort within your chest. Your mind wanders to far away hills on the countryside, surrounded with luscious green fields and full bloomed flowers. Then your brought back to the screen where a love story so profoundly unimaginable unfolds.
All to often we are reminded that the epic love story of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth is just that, a fictional love story. Not one that could present itself in real life, especially not in this day in age. But why must I be so drawn to the tale of the search for true love.
I feel a strong sense of likeness to Lizzie from pride and prejudice, not just because she is the main
character in my favorite novel, but because I too believe that no matter how much someone tells you that love will never find you, you will always search willingly an never give up or settle on anything less.
I want to find a Darcy for myself. One that is so enthralled with me that I cannot sway him any other way. One that will never give up and will always show me that no matter how I feel he will still care.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Depression
I started to feel myself slip into depression again. Staying up late, crying myself to sleep. Dreaming of hurtful things. I hate when I get to this stage, because a no one ever notices and b no one really cares. I feel the weight of life breathing down my neck begging for me to just give up. I know I need therapy but I can't bring myself to let anyone in on the secrets that I hold. I tried to go back to church, but that only made me feel more like a failure. My life is going no where and I think that if I stay in one place any longer I'm gonna be stuck for the rest of my life. I need help. But what do you say? "I really don't have any problems, but I'll complain about my life anyways". I feel pathetic an weak and I wish I could be stronger than this.
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