For the ones we have loved

Have you ever wondered where you life has gone?
Ever flipped through a yearbook and remembered a friend you wished you could talk to again?
Ever spent a night lying in bed thinking about all the moments you took for granted?
I do, all the time. I am one of those people who ponders on past experiences to try and gain future perspective, all the while wishing I could just remain in the past.
I have had many many people influence me on who I am today, gone through numerous best friends and have spent my life searching for role models to help guide me in to the person I have become.
So today I pause to reflect on each one of the individuals, starting from as early as 5 years old on down to my 19th birthday. They may not realize what they did for me, but I know in my heart that I could never have become the Meagan Louise Doty you all know without them.

Jazzy:
We were so little, we met when we were just toddlers running around a bare patch of grass in front of our apartments, but I remember you so well because you were my first best friend. The one I will always remember walking to our first day of school together. You have now grown up and have your own beautiful family. But I still remember the girl with pigtails and overalls from kindergarten. We shared everything together, and I look back now and understand that no matter how much we fought, I could never have made it through elementary without your friendship.

Breanna:
Oh what a friendship we had. I remember the three of us doing everything together. Playing games, walking to school, laughing and crying. Yes, we still talk and I love to hear that you are doing so well, but I wish we could turn back time and be little kids on the playground again. You taught me how to be cool with who I was and that everyone deserves to have a friend. I don't remember how many people we talked to in elementary, but it seems like we always had the most fun on the swing set. I am so glad you taught me how to never be afraid to talk to someone, and I will always remember you for that.

Mrs Boss:
I wish I knew how to thank you. 6th grade would have never been the same if I wouldn't have had you to confide in. You changed my life, made me and my family realize the changes that needed to happen in order for us both to survive. I know I was so young, but you were the best teacher that I ever had.

Mathew:
Oh boy, you were my first real crush and I cannot thank you enough for letting me believe in love at such a young age.

Mrs. Ruesch:
I would have never developed my love for music if it was not for you all women's choir. I knew before seventh grade that I loved to sing, but I never understood how music could change your life forever. I realize now that through all of my toughest moments music has gotten me through, and if it was not for you I would have never been inspired to follow my dreams and believe in the power that a song could heal your soul.

Jenna:
We were so close and I don't know what happened between us to make you hate me so much. But I just want you to know that I loved having you as a friend. You showed me how to have fun again and how to really be myself. Although we did get into some trouble together, I don't think that I could have ever really understood what it meant to be free if you hadn't shown me. Thank you for taking the time to be my first friend in a place I didn't want to call home.

Lizbeth:
What an amazing summer we had! I can't remember how many times I laughed that year because of you. You lead me on so many adventures and thanks to you I will always remember what it felt like to live in the moment and never take no for an answer. I could kill for another summer like that. Long nights on the tramp, late afternoons at left hand and so many many adventure with random strangers. Thank you so much for treating me like a sister, and for being my best friend.

Morgan:
Girl we got in way to much trouble together, but at last it was something that I needed. Without you even knowing it, you saved my life. Because if it wasn't for us sinking so low together, I don't know if I would have ever made it through Moab alive. Thank you for being so tough in the face of danger and for showing me what it meant to be truly strong.

Michael:
You were my first real love, the one who made my world turn upside down. I think I ruined things between us, and for that I am really sorry. I know we were young, and it may never matter to you, but to me my affection for you is what got me through one of the toughest years of my life. I could have never understood what it meant to be cared about if it was not for the brief moments of our relationship. Thank you for showing me what love really means and for making me believe that it is okay for me to let someone in.

Rio:
Although I do not think we really truly became friends until after I moved, I cant thank you enough for being my best friend. You made me want to help people, to be the caring person that I am today. I wanted to help you find yourself like all of these people helped me find myself. I don't know if I made a difference in your life or not, but I know that you definitely inspire me to make a difference to a lot of other people. I love you for that, and I love you for always being there.

Ashlynn:
We are so much alike that it scares me sometimes. But you can make me laugh, cry, sing, scream, and feel all of the spectrum of emotions by you just walking in the door. You truly have a wonderful soul and a unique ability to listen to the things that are not spoken. Please know that you helped me believe in a pure innocence that I could have never imaged without our friendship.

Sarah:
Moving to St. George was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. But you made it worth it. Our friendship got me through a tough year and you showed me acceptance more than anyone else. You helped me turn over a new leaf, without rushing me into it. I became a better person because you allowed me the time and space to do it on my own. I will never forget our car rides and long talks because you told me it was okay to let someone know you are struggling. Thank you for always believing in the person that I could become.

Cierra:
Your kind soul and warm spirit can brighten up my mornings on any occasion. I am so glad that we are friends and that we have grown so much closer in these past few months. I love spending time with you because I truly feel like the best version of myself when I am around you. I can't understand it, but you have saved my life more than once and I am sure that you will do it again. Thank you for being there, for a distraction, for relief, and for the friend that I can always have a sleepover with and cry to sappy love shows with.

Victoria:
You are such an inspiring person. Without you I do not believe that I would have wanted to follow my dreams and try something new. You showed me that I had a whole different side that I didn't even know about. You made me want to be better by just being around you. And you still do that today. I think you are someone that is going to change the world someday, and I hope that I am there to witness it, because you helped change my life in ways that I can't even explain.

There are many many more people that have changed my life for the better, but I cant even imagine my life without these people. Thank you all for being there in the right time and the right place, because you all created a stepping stone to help me down the long pathway of life. I am a stronger, happier, healthier, more inspired person because of the influence that you all had on my life. Thank you for your words of wisdom, your hilarious moments of laughter, and for being the people I needed most in my life. I wish that one day you will all know that you have changed me, and that I could never have come to love the world if it wasn't for the moments that make me remember you forever.