I went a whole year without posting something!Now my senior year is over and what an incredible time it was.
I am now participating in the summer show, Move over Mrs. Markham, at dixie state college.
It really is an amazing experience, and I have learned so much from it!
But my life right now is not working so well.
Some say I have so much to be thankful for, and while that is true, I still wish I had more.
Here is a list of all the things that are on my mind right now, things that I just need to get out.
1. I am trying every day to find a job, and sometimes it just makes me so sad that I just never want to get out of bed!
2. I am trying to figure out college and what I should major in, and that in itself is just a mess. I want so badly to major in theater, but I have a feeling that those around me would rather me go into something more conventional, like psychology or something.
3. I see all my friends with serious boyfriends, or even just someone that is interested in him. I cannot believe that I am still single. I have so much to offer someone. I may not be skinny, and I may not be that beautiful, but I believe that I am worth it. So why cant anyone else see that?
4. I lost a bit of friends this year. Not that it was their fault. It was really all me. I became someone that involves themselves a lot in things that I used to never care about, fashion, drama, I dont know just things that made it hard to keep friends. Not to mention that senior year is the worst year. Its all about saying goodbye to the people, because in all honesty I probably will not see 40% of them ever again.
5. I wish I could get that one person out of my head, he has been there for over 3 years now and I feel like he will never leave. I always tell people to move on, so why can I not take my own advice?
6. I need to move out, I am ready to move on with my own life, but every time I find someone that may be able to go in with me for an apartment, they change their mind. I am so disappointed, I just need out of here so bad. Its not that I dont love my aunt and uncle, and I am so thankful for everything they have given me, but sometimes I feel like I am still fifteen!
My life is pretty great I must say, I have a future, a family, great friends, opportunities that tons of people will never have, and I had the most amazing senior year, but somehow I still feel like things are missing. Time really does fly when things are going so well. so maybe I should stop complaining and just look at the bright side of things.
1. everything happens for a reason. i lost what i thought was a great job just in time to find my dream job. timing is everything and when one job doesn't work out it's because you need to be available for something else.
ReplyDelete2. you don't need to know 100% what you want to major in. take a few classes for a bunch of stuff and find out what you what to do, not what everyone else whats you to do. that's what this time in life is for.
3. continue to love and learn about yourself. go and do things that make you happy. you will find someone who sees that happiness and it will be like everything that didn't work out (#5) was for a reason. promise.
4. continue to make new friends and stay in contact with old ones. just because you stopped talking while life was busy doesn't mean that you can't call them up and ask them to go with you to get ice cream. you'll realize that they enjoy your company just as much as you enjoy theirs.
5. i could write a novel here. learn something from the past. and keep applying it to the future. don't keep going back because it's there, move forward and show them what they missED out on.
6. stay at home as long as possible! i know you feel like you don't feel grown up, but i promise you moving out won't change that. rent is expensive and roommates suck! and being roommates with friends is the worst possible idea! you will grow to HATE each other.
try not to stress the small stuff, even if it seems big, focus on things that make you happy and go do them! you will always have things to stress about, even when you have a job, a major, a boyfriend, friends, and your own place, stress will be there, but if you have the things that make you happy it won't matter. :)