Come Back........?

Why is it that when you are finally over a guy they decide to show back up into your life. Like always I forget about the people I left behind in Moab. I am really proud of myself every time I do because I like to move on with my life and search for new, and better things. But I have come to realize that those feelings never last, that right when I feel okay about letting go, those very people come back into my life and make it worse than last time. I want to live my life knowing that I can move on with it. But right now I need to let the world know how I am feeling. So I am going to rant for a minute about how I feel about that very person, and maybe one day he will read this and understand.

I am getting really tired of you coming back into my life. I hate how you make me feel and how I cant sleep, eat, think, talk, act, or do anything in my life without thinking about you. It is bad enough that I have to dream about you and know that it will never happen. But when you come into my life and try to make me feel that way again, well I dont appreciate it to say the least. I am better, I am moving on with my life and I want you out of it. But to be honest I am addicted to you, and I know that is so cliche, but I dont care. Its very true, when you come back and tell me that you want to see me, or you ask me how I am I want to tell you im bad, that you hurt me, that most days I wish that I had never met you, that when I am alone sometimes I cry out for you to help me. I see my friends all moving on and I want to be there. I want you to know that I hate this, that I want it all, or I want nothing. But that would be a lie. Because I want to be in your life, and I want you to be in mine. Its been a long time, but I still wish on a star that you will come back and realize that you need me. I want to be the girl that makes you happy, that you can count on. I am angry, sad, disappointed, disoriented, crazy, tired, and confused about you. I will tell you one day that I love you, that I needed you all those years, and I know you will laugh and let me know you have never felt the same, but I will tell you because I want you to know that I am done, that I wont be thinking about you anymore. That day is not today, and when you see me walking towards you, well you'll know that I am out............for good.

Sometimes people come in and out of your life, sometimes they leave marks that can fade in a day, but sometimes they leave imprints that burn your skin for a lifetime and you do everything you can to heal yourself. Those people deserve to know how they made you feel, they deserve to understand that although you might not of left a mark with them, they burned their mark into your heart and soul, and that you are trying your hardest to make it go away. Those people deserve to see you get married, to watch you move on with your life and to leave behind their memory in the sand. If any girl out there knows how I have felt, which I know there are girls out there, then remember your not alone, and that one day the world will change. You will get better, You will move on, You will love again, and You will survive.